


Little Peahen on a Roof, All Alone Without Her Butterfly

by Miscellaneous_mess



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Background Relationships, Bittersweet, Boss/Employee Relationship, Dead Emilie Agreste, F/M, Gabriel can’t move on, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, Hawkyura, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Loneliness, Minor Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Minor Emilie Agreste/Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, No Sex, No Smut, Oblivious Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawkmoth, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Peacock Nathalie Sancoeur | Mayura, Sad Nathalie Sancoeur, Sick Character, Sick Nathalie Sancoeur, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, gabenath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 07:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miscellaneous_mess/pseuds/Miscellaneous_mess
Summary: Mayura really just wanted to be alone as she looked over the dark Paris skyline. Of course, Chat had to come and ruin her peace but it turns out they had more in common than they initially thought. Their main similarity is that they are in love with their partner who is in love with another.
Relationships: Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Little Peahen on a Roof, All Alone Without Her Butterfly

Nathalie put on the peacock miraculous once again, not missing the glitch it once had. The dark blue, 5 feather brooch turned to a teal-ish one that had 9 feathers as its cheerful kwami flew out of it. 

"Miss Nathalie!" Duusu exclaimed, he hadn't seen her in quite a while.  
"It's late," Nathalie warned, "be quiet."  
"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.   
"Gabriel keeps me more locked up than Adrien. He acts like I'm going to break if I go out and I'm tired of it."   
"You should be resting!" Duusu warned, he had heard small conversations about how Nathalie was not completely healthy yet.  
"Duusu, spread my feather," Nathalie commanded, ignoring his protests. 

The peacock miraculous was fixed. Was health perfect? Not even close, but a fixed miraculous wasn't going to damage her slowly healing self. Once transformed she let out a few coughs and set a hand on a nearby table to balance herself. After catching her breath, and once she no longer felt like she was spinning, she shifted her weight away from the table and back onto her feet. Now confident she wasn't going to pass out, Mayura quickly left the Agreste residence. 

Leaving all of her feelings behind, she found a tall building and she laid down, appreciating the clear, star-covered night sky. Finding a tall building she laid down appreciating the clear, star-covered night sky. She wished she could leave her emotions and feelings behind and appreciate feeling like how she felt now. Right now she felt light like everything had lifted off her shoulders and she was floating. 

A crash that she heard behind her startled her and she jumped up from the ledge she was seated on. Immediately she got in a defensive position getting ready to fight if she had to. In the back of her mind, hoping the person was weak at hand-to-hand combat. She wasn’t the strongest fighter but with only a fan as a weapon, she had become better.

"Chat Noir!" Mayura exclaimed realizing that this cat did not always land on his feet.   
"Mayura?" he said, sounding lost.   
"Hawkmoth and I aren't doing anything tonight so if you could leave me alone that would be great."   
"We haven't seen you in battle recently, where have you been?" 

Mayura raised an eyebrow to his question, "the peacock miraculous was damaged and it was affecting my health. Hawkmoth figured out a way to fix the miraculous but he's still worried about my health because it's not completely better,” she wasn't even sure why she told the truth. It seemed like Chat wasn't going to take advantage of her clear vulnerability.  
"At least your partner cares about you," Chat signed. It wasn't quite the response Mayura had anticipated from her confession. 

Mayura formed a response and had a tone that matched her confusion, "no, he's married, and not to me. Also, trust me, Ladybug cares about probably more than she lets on."   
"Really? I thought for sure you guys were married?"  
"No, we're not," Mayura confirmed.   
"Then I guess we are both unlucky," Chat Noir signed and sat a few feet away from where Mayura was still standing. Mayura sat back down on the edge of the roof. She doubted if Chat Noir would push her off, though the height seemed low enough that with her enhanced abilities it wouldn't even be a struggle to land. 

Silence fell between the pair and it was one of understanding. They understood that they were both in love with their partner who would never love them the same way. It wasn't right, a villain and a hero sitting only a few feet apart but somehow at that moment, it was. A shared vulnerability and an unspoken promise that neither would harm the other, at least tonight.

"Kitty?" they heard a voice say behind them, to no surprise it was Ladybug, "with Mayura?"  
"She's not so bad," Chat defended her, "in fact, we have something in common."   
"She's still a villain, besides Hawkmoth is probably going to realize his wife is gone soon enough and come looking for her."  
"We aren't married!" Mayura clarified.   
"Well, your fiance is looking for you," Ladybug said pointing to Hawkmoth's silhouette that they could see bounding across Parisian rooftops. 

Mayura was about to argue about Hawkmoth being her fiance when she turned around to see Ladybug and Chat Noir leaping away. She then heard the light thump as Hawkmoth landed beside her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hawkmoth asked.   
"I was looking at the stars," Mayura said, standing up slowly. The last thing she wanted was to get dizzy from standing up too fast. She was going to convince him that she was fine, regardless of how she actually felt.

"Really? Because it looked like you were conspiring against me with Ladybug and Chat Noir."  
"I've been on your side since day one, I'm not 'conspiring against you'."  
"I'm sorry, I know, I was just paranoid when I couldn't find you." 

Mayura softened, hearing some of the worry in his voice, "why were you looking for me?"   
Hawkmoth hesitated to answer, "I- I couldn't sleep."   
"Well, you found me," Mayura said softly.   
"Why were you talking to them?"  
"We have more in common than I thought," Mayura said thinking back to Chat Noir's words.   
"What do you have in common with teenagers?"   
"Chat Noir and I are both in love with someone who doesn't love us back. Ladybug and I have a similar soft spot for our partner."   
"Oh," was all Hawkmoth said.

Silence fell between them. Mayura looked around at everything besides the man next to her. The silence felt like glass, it was uncomfortable, stiff, and ready to shatter at any time. Hawkmoth took a hand and gently turned Mayura’s head so she was looking at him.

"You never told me you had someone special in your life," he finally said.  
"I didn't realize it was important that you knew,” Mayura said, trying to not let herself enjoy his warm touch on her face.  
"Come on, we should go back.”   
Mayura nodded and they returned to the Agreste mansion. 

Nathalie coughed lightly as she detransformed but quickly regained her composure. Luckily, she didn't get too dizzy and felt fine as she was about to head out of the office. She hoped that she appeared to be getting better to Gabriel and that he would let her live as normally as she could. Nathalie was about to go to the guest bedroom which had, more or less, been dedicated as her own when Gabriel’s voice stopped her. 

"Nathalie, can you lay with me?" Gabriel asked, which stopped Nathalie in her tracks.  
"Why?" Nathalie replied curiously.   
"I want to make sure you're safe tonight."   
"Scared Hawkmoth might kidnap me?" Nathalie smirked, "I did hear he was out looking for someone."   
"Nathalie," his voice held a warning tone as though Nathalie didn't have a choice. Somehow he was also able to convey a sense of begging without sounding desperate.

Despite her sarcasm, she followed Gabriel to the master bedroom and laid down facing away for him. Nathalie couldn't sleep knowing she was lying so close to her boss, who she had a crush on for who knows how long at this point. It felt like the universe was setting her up for heartbreak constantly, putting her in situations where she felt like Gabriel might just feel something for her. Nathalie knew she should have been smarter than this, but Gabriel was always capable of making her heart flutter. 

Accepting the fact that she just wasn't going to sleep tonight, she signed and tried just to relax the best she could. Nathalie allowed his voice to play in her head, how he had said her name earlier. She always admired his voice, it was smooth and confident, yet able to convey and persuade anyone who listened. It was a valuable trait to have especially as Hawkmoth. Nathalie knew she shouldn't be thinking of him like this but a small night fantasy wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it?

Lost in thought, she jumped at the feeling of a pair of arms wrapping around her. It had to be Gabriel. Nathalie was unsure if he was awake or asleep but Nathalie didn't mind either way. A newfound sense of safety and comfort soothed her to sleep.

Waking up, Gabriel was happy to see that Nathalie was still with him. He hadn't remembered when he had pulled Nathalie so close but he didn't want to move now. Gabriel felt as Nathalie stirred slightly before she yawned. 

"Morning Nathalie," he said, still holding her close.   
"Good morning, sir," Nathalie replied formally and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.   
"Would you like to tell me why you were out as Mayura, alone, last night?"  
"I just wanted to be alone, but that plan was wrecked pretty fast by the annoying cat."   
"Why did you want to be alone?"   
"I was just trying to sort out my own feelings," Nathalie admitted.   
"You don't have to be Mayura, I'm not forcing you to be, I can get her back by myself."  
"That's not what it was about," Nathalie told him, it might have been a little more convincing if she was able to turn and face him, but she knew that she would be way too close if she did.   
"Then what?"  
Nathalie wished she didn't fool herself into thinking Gabriel cared. She wished she could change her decision to share a bed with Gabriel but it was too late for that. She wanted Gabriel’s voice to not affect her but he was always able to coax out what he wanted, especially when talking to her.

"Trying to figure out what I'm going to do once we get her back," Nathalie finally answered, it was a better answer than admitting she was in love with him.   
"Did you get to figure anything out? You deserve to be happy after all the work you've put in."  
"I just want you to be happy, sir. Seeing you and Emilie together after all this would make it worth it."  
"You have to want something," Gabriel pointed out, "if you had the miraculous and could make any wish you wanted what would it be? It can't be to bring Emilie back, but something you truly want for yourself."  
Nathalie hadn't even thought about it before, she would make the wish for Gabriel if he asked her to in a heartbeat. She hadn't considered herself in a long time, she was always putting Gabriel above her. Sometimes she wishes things would be different, but would she still love Gabriel the same if everything had been different? Would Gabriel love her if Emilie had never been in the picture? They were selfish questions that she tried to never entertain in her. No, she would never make a wish that wasn't for Gabriel, especially not one as risky that would change her and Gabriel’s whole life.

"I wouldn't want the consequence," Nathalie decided, "I don't think anything I want would be worth the consequence to pay."   
Gabriel didn't say anything that seemed like a logical answer, though not quite an answer he was looking for. He had suspected an answer that dealt with the unreciprocated crush she had let on to earlier. Maybe she was worried about ruining someone else's love life? He didn't know who but it probably was worth that much thought.

"Have you thought about what the consequence of my wish might be?" Gabriel asked.   
"I have. The most favorable outcome is that it takes my life," Nathalie told him.  
"How is that the most favorable?" Gabriel asked and subconsciously pulled Nathalie closer to him as if he would lose her now.

"It is likely the miraculous would take someone close to you. That would be me and Adrien, though I suppose they could take yours as trade instead. As I said, the most favorable of those is that it takes mine. You, Adrien, and Emilie could be a family again just as it should be,” Nathalie explained.  
Worry overcame Gabriel. He hadn't thought about it but Nathalie seemed ready to give up her life if it meant he was going to get Emilie back. 

"Sir, we need to get up. You have a meeting in an hour," Nathalie said, knowing this was the only and last time she was going to be in Gabriel's bed.   
Gabriel, although not very willing, let Nathalie roll out of his bed and he did the same. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, Nathalie took the miraculous again and transformed to Mayura as night fell over Paris. Sitting back on the same roof, she let herself breathe. She never knew how much time she had left. Especially when the peacock miraculous damaged her health, she learned that might as well enjoy what was left.

"Little peahen all alone on a roof without her butterfly," Chat Noir's voice came from behind her.  
"Don't you have other people to bother?" Mayura complained.   
"Nope," he said with a cheshire grin.   
"Where's your Ladybug?" Mayura asked as Chat took a seat a few feet away from her.   
"M'lady took the night off. I assume your boyfriend did the same as I don't see him searching Paris for you tonight."   
"We aren't dating!" Mayura groaned, "and yes, I told him I was going out," a lie, but Chat Noir didn't need to know that. 

"I know what it's like, you know?" Chat Noir said after a bit of silence.  
"What do you mean?"   
"I can see that you love him, but there is someone else he is in love with?"  
Mayura blinked twice at the cat, how did he know? Was she that transparent about her feelings? Why was his description so painfully accurate? 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not in love with Hawkmoth, and I already told you he has a wife. It would be wrong for me to have feelings for him."   
"Call it what you want but I can see that there is more to your relationship than you let on."  
"Sorry, I don't trust a teenager who can't figure out his own relationship."   
Chat Noir frowned, "do you and Hawkmoth know each other's identities?"   
"Would you even believe me if I told you no?"  
"You're way ahead of me and Ladybug if you know who you are in real life."   
"It doesn't matter, he doesn't even pretend to care for me outside of Mayura. I'm just a pawn in his plan."   
"You don't have to be. Ladybug and I could use a good sentimonster, and you sound like you know very useful information."   
"I would never betray him!" Mayura quickly defended... Herself, Hawkmoth, she didn't know who she was trying to defend, but either way, she knew she wasn't betraying him.

"Tell Hawkmoth to open his eyes. I think you're one of the best people he could ever get,” Chat Noir pointed out as he took note of Mayura’s quick urge to defend the other villain.  
"I wish he would," Mayura muttered under her breath.   
"Hmm?"  
"Nothing. I was just saying how you're just as loyal to Ladybug. Don't you ever feel like your loyalty is for nothing?"   
"Of course not!" Chat Noir answered.   
"Then we do understand each other. We would never betray our partner regardless if they reciprocate our feelings." 

Chat Noir knew it was true and it wasn't something he could deny. They had both admitted it with their rapid answers of unwillingness to do anything that would involve betraying their partner. As they sat together they both knew that they would do anything for their partner to think about them. 

They let silence fill the space between before Chat Noir eventually left and Mayura was alone once again. His words still rang in his head, 'all alone without her butterfly.' The problem was that he wasn't hers, the problem was that he never would be. She was destined to be lonely, she supposed. 

Being so lost in her own thought, she didn't realize when Hawkmoth was beside her. He didn't say anything as he wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her far shoulder. She let her head fall against his chest. It felt comfortable and she wished she could have stayed in his touch forever. 

"What are you thinking about?" he finally asked her.  
"How if Chat Noir and Ladybug saw us right now, I think we would have a hard time convincing them we aren't married or at the very least dating."   
"Would that really be so bad?"  
Mayura was confused by that question, what even was his question? Was he implying it wasn't bad that people thought they were a couple or that it wouldn't be bad if they were actually a couple? 

"Why are you here?" Mayura asked, not thinking any further about Hawkmoth's question. She couldn't, no she wouldn't, allow herself to read into his words.  
"I wanted to think," he admitted. Mayura felt like there was an underlying tone of sadness, maybe even a hint of worry. 

"What are you thinking about?"   
"What you said this morning, about the consequence, about losing you."  
Mayura hummed, while she would die for the man beside her without thinking twice. Thinking about her death was still not something she enjoyed by any means.

"I can't lose you,” Hawkmoth hesitated, “but I can't give up on her."  
"It's your choice," Mayura reminded him, "it always has been and it always will."  
Hawkmoth was silent as he pulled Mayura closer to him. He didn't want to let her go and felt as if he did she would be gone. It was a fear he didn't know he had until Nathalie had put the idea in his head only hours before. 

"I'm sorry to keep doing this to you, it isn't fair. You shouldn't have to trade your life for my wife's."   
Mayura covered a scoff with a small cough. Nothing had ever been fair in either of their lives. He wasn’t a moral man, as he akumatized over half of Paris, so why, all of a sudden, was he concerned about what was fair?

"It's okay, I'm with you, all the way until the end," Mayura promised because it was the truth, she would do anything for him.   
"The end shouldn't be your end."   
"It'll be alright," she told him. Part of her was trying to convince herself but if he was happy then everything would be worth it. All the pain would lead to his success and a pleasant life with his family. 

"We could find a way around it," Hawkmoth suggested, "around the consequence of the wish, I mean."   
Mayura frowned, trying to outsmart a magical wish and the balance of the universe seemed like a worse idea. 

"We need Nathalie, you're a part of our family and we wouldn't be the same without you," Hawkmoth said, continuing to hold Mayura close to him. 

Hawkmoth couldn't let her go, the irrational fear still in his head that she might leave him forever if he dares to let go. It was selfish, to need Mayura, to need Nathalie, as much as he did while still in love with Emilie. If he let her go, maybe she wouldn't leave him but she could be gone from the world forever. Or worst of all, she could stay but be just out of his reach. Instead of vocalizing any of this, he stayed silent with his arm secured around the woman beside him.

Meanwhile, Mayura was in her head, replaying Hawkmoth’s words. It wasn't a declaration of love, in fact, it was far from, but it was enough, at least for her. Mayura still didn't say a word. Regardless of what she wanted, he would always choose Emilie over her. 

On the roof, she wished time would stop for them. Time was destined to move forward and so were they. Until then Mayura was happy to be on the roof with the butterfly who would never be hers.


End file.
